Me and Mr. Wrong Get Along So Good...

Me & Mr. Wrong get along so good...but I don't have time for that anymore.Let’s just be brutally honest. Growing up, the bulk of relationships around me were so dysfunctional and volatile. Very few of my family members have embodied what a positive, loving relationship should look like.  That was detrimental in a sense. I don’t know what real love is supposed to look like. If the “love” demonstrated to me my whole life taught me anything: it taught me I sure didn’t want a “love” like that.Here’s why I refuse to operate in dysfunction in relationships:I don’t think open lines of communication, honesty, nor the ability to agree to disagree calmly is too much to ask for within a relationship.Furthermore,

1) It disrupts peace.

2) It disrupts peace.

3) Did I mention that it disrupts peace?Your girl needs peace…sorry not sorry.It’s said to be super typical for women to have a list of all the qualifications a potential mate must have. Initially, I thought it was absurd to have a list but I’m sure my opinion was shaped solely by the various qualifications I’d heard from other women that seemed to be superficial and shallow. Up until maybe a year ago I had a difficult time verbalizing what I wanted. I liked to believe the lie that “I don’t have a type.” One night, I opened my notes and decided to start my own list.here’s everything that list entails:

• Love Christ
• Prays for me when I can’t find the strength to pray for myself
• Falls on his face before Christ (not afraid to worship)
  • I don’t want a man who embodies the famous Syleena Johnson lyrics “all week long, always making plans…but come Sunday morning, you play sick in bed”
• I don’t see a purpose in dating/courtship if the end goal is not
  • I’m striving to be a woman of intentionality. If a man is not intending on one day being my husband then what are we wasting time for?
• Find somebody that doubles my joys, and divides my burdens.
• Lead me: be a proven leader.
• Kind and affectionate
• Understanding and respectful of boundaries..
  • I’ve been in situationships where the guy was not respectful of boundaries I’d set for myself; and pushed to see how far beyond those boundaries I’d go. And I’ll be honest I’d venture a bit further than I really wanted to go because I enjoyed the company, and the validation I received, all the while diminishing my worth in a sense.
• Loves me flaws & all.
• WORDS OF AFFIRMATION!
  • This is my top love language.
• Transparency/Communication/Expressiveness
  • Be open with me. Let me know when something is bothering you. Tell me when you’re hurting or happy. Let me know if I pissed you off. This society has raised so many men to believe they must be emotionless....and I know I can’t take another man who shuts me out every time he hits a rough patch; refuses to talk to me, and overall just doesn’t communicate effectively.

But this also called for me to evaluate the way I want to love my partner and how unable I was to provide so many of the things on my list due to the nature of the relationships around me: for instance, while I’m able to be vulnerable quite openly now, it hasn’t always been that way because I spent a lot of time silenced, scared to voice how I feel. How could I require someone to love my flaws and all when I couldn’t even give myself that?I want to make sure that when the man God has for me comes along I can be the woman he deserves. I’m trying to speak life into him. Trying to be that shoulder he can lean on. Let him know he doesn’t have to hide his emotions because "baby boo, I got  you!"I know y’all have seen then meme that says something along the lines of “if he’s selling ice cream, I’m gone be right there scooping.” That’s how ya girl is trying to be…OKURRRRRR!When that time comes I can stand in knowing that I have been working to be that Proverbs 31 woman & end up with a 1 Corinthians 13:4 type of love.I want to hear you guys’ opinions. Am I being extra for making a list? Do you think the qualifications I ask a potential mate to possess are extra? Do any of you ladies have a list? What’s on it? Comment and let me know!