Accountability vs Victimization
Accountability is such a rarity lately. I have been dealing with the most from individuals unwilling to take accountability for their actions, placing blame and relishing in victimization. It is incredibly frustrating to have something done to you, that leaves you feeling disrespected, hurt, or offended in any way… to turn around and present how you feel to the offending party and be gaslit, unheard, and told you’re overreacting. And then chastise you for responding in whatever way you feel is necessary. The audacity to cause harm and feel as if you can dictate how someone chooses to work through or heal from your actions.
It baffles me that we can’t just accept accountability for our wrongdoing. Often, the conflict is solely miscommunication in the first place. Or something small, but based on principle alone, causes immense harm. As adults, we must learn to apologize and develop a plan to prevent reoffending moving forward. Understand, sometimes this may include agreeing to disagree.
Accountability is important, here’s why:
1. Acknowledging mistakes and taking accountability opens the door for effective communication. It allows for honest and open discussions about issues, leading to better understanding and resolution.
2. Being accountable demonstrates respect for others. It shows that you value the relationship enough to admit when you're wrong and take steps to rectify any harm caused.
3. Accountability is essential for resolving conflicts. It enables both parties to address issues head-on, find common ground, and work together to find solutions rather than placing blame.
4. Knowing that others are accountable creates a sense of emotional safety in a relationship. It reassures individuals that their concerns and feelings are acknowledged and respected.
5. Taking responsibility requires understanding the impact of your actions on others. This cultivates empathy, as you become more attuned to the feelings and perspectives of those you are in a relationship with.
6. Taking responsibility for your actions fosters personal growth. It encourages self-reflection, learning from mistakes, and making positive changes to prevent similar issues in the future.
On the other hand, I cannot be frustrated with those around me but not be willing to turn the lens on myself. I never proclaim to be perfect. I know that there are times when I have been the offending party. But I also know there are times—when I have been completely justified in my response to things, and have still attempted to apologize and make amends, and have still been given people’s ass to kiss.
I have done my best to be accountable for any role I play in the demise of relationships and friendships. And have overlooked when everybody did whatever it was, they felt in their hearts to do to me. I’m learning, I don’t have to just take whatever people give. My dad always says, “Everybody gotta have a story to tell.” It’s the false narratives for me. If anything, 2023 taught me to be okay with the myriad of unfavorable narratives people come up with to make themselves look like the victim and pin you as the villain. I never want to become calloused or feel bad for loving people in the way I which I do. But often, I feel it's best to just protect me. I just want peace and harmony in my relationships across the board.
Incorporating accountability into relationships is a dynamic and ongoing process that contributes to the overall well-being and success of interpersonal connections. I wish you all the best in your relationships with people who have no problem taking responsibility for their actions. I wish you all the ability to self-reflect and work on yourself if you have a problem with accountability. I wish you all much love, success, and happiness in all your relationships.
Happy 3rd Day of Blogmas,
Latressa
