God, Don't Leave Me Out
“It’s just me and you, and I have some questions. Why do we hurt? Why is everything a lesson? What I call a test, you call a blessing. Why is it so hard to believe? Why do we pray, if you know the ending? I feel like I lost, right from the beginning. & If I’m your child, why is everyone else winning? Help me to see what you see.”-Tasha Page-LockhartComparison kills.For me, frustration came when I continued to see all my friends prospering; yet, I felt like I was at a standstill. Friends getting cars, moving out, taking trips, securing better job opportunities and awesome internship placements. And yet there I was, struggling to pay for Uber to get to work every week. There I was, eating ramen again. *I’m telling y’all those struggle meals build character. Working my butt off but feeling like I had absolutely nothing to show for it. Just watching my mental health deteriorate, and the demands of college slowly eat away at me. Downright struggling but not wanting to ask for help, because that’s what independent women do. We struggle in silence and make do. Knowing my parents would help but not wanting to burden them.Now we add, the stress and pressure of everyone forcing grad school down my throat. Mind whirls of random stressors: GRE, recommendations, maybe I should just take a gap year, “girl, your GPA is on life support, will you really get in,” application fees, grad photos, invitations, another guy playing games, another $100 access code. GOD, JUST MAKE IT STOP. And as I’m trying to piece my life together. It all seemed to crumble again.Dear God, just don’t leave me out. Help me. I know you said you’d never leave me. I know if I don’t worry and make my requests known to you by prayer and supplication you’ll give me peace. I know you’ll guide my footsteps. God, why can’t you just enlarge my territory like everyone else?Even then, there I was, stuck in the same place.Well dang, God, why do you keep on leaving me out? I wanna win too. It just felt like God forgot about me on every end of the spectrum.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
You don’t know the turmoil someone may have had to go through just to be able to get to that specific point in life. You didn’t see the tears they cried, things they sacrificed or even sins they committed just attempting to reach that level. Now you’re mad because Brittany got a new car, but little do you know Brittany is way in over her head with a car note; donating plasma to make payments, and can’t even enjoy the “blessing” she has because the stress is eating away at her. Just walk graciously in what you have. God knows what you need, and it’ll all be given at the appointed time.I know, I know. You just don’t want God to leave you out. Don’t leave out my blessing Lord.At times, even now it’s frustrating. Like God, what am I doing wrong? I feel like I’m honoring him by being faithful in the position I’m in. But am I truly honoring him? Lord knows the last time I truly prayed before I got myself into a mess. Matter of fact, when is the last time I picked up my Bible and had quiet time? Not just to put on a social media front, but to seriously strengthen my faith. To honestly, learn more about someone who’d sacrifice it all for me. How many times do I knowingly choose to live in my sin because it feels good? I’ve honestly been treating my relationship with God as if he’s just another disposable friend in my life; you know that friend that you only hit up once in a blue moon; just to keep them there. Yet, I want all these blessings.
- Check your heart.
Are you being responsible with the things in your life God has already blessed you with?My heart was all in the wrong things and feeling like God left me behind. But I honestly left him. I was putting in work, but for all the wrong things. It was never a ‘you get a blessing, you get a blessing, skip Latressa, you get a blessing type’ situation. But I had to realize, you don’t get a paycheck from a job you never put in hours at. You get what you earn, and honestly, I hadn’t earned anything. I was working hard at my job, I was working hard for school. I was working on launching a business. I was working DOUBLE TIME to find love. But there was no effort for Christ: who laid down his life for me. My spiritual life was just hanging in the balance. And God needed my attention.With that being said, put your all into your relationship with Christ.You wouldn’t want to be in a relationship in the physical realm where you didn’t feel appreciated, or loved. Where everything felt one-sided, and the effort you dished out was never reciprocated. Your relationship with God shouldn’t be that way either.All I’m saying is do your work. Soul-search. Give Jesus his time. And watch how things turn around for you. This life is a journey, and no one wants to feel left behind, but you must be diligent in this Christian walk.With love,Latressa ♥
If you enjoyed this post and are interested in more like it: click the link below and check this one out: https://wildflowersofwisdom.com/2017/08/01/silently-screaming/Comment below and let me know if you have ever felt like God just left you hanging, and how you found the strength to move forward. Also, don’t forget to subscribe to the email list for any future updates on what’s going on with W.O.W. And I’d love it if you’d repost, like…and share, share, share!